I’ve been updating my life though small fragments via other social networks (twitter, facebook, tumblr) for the past few months. I make my resurgence here usually only to expound on several things or just to liberate my mind. 

I’ve been staying alone as of Wednesday since my sister is in New York — she gets back tomorrow. I haven’t really felt all too lonely only bc I haven’t really thought about it, and I’m not going to.

I feel like I’m displeasing my cats since i’m not deeming them as companions. I don’t think its onerous to understand what i’m trying to say.

Anyhow, now that I mentioned my cats I should go ahead and mention that I no longer just have Mitchy, I’ve now acquired Nylah. A friend gave her to me after she was looking to give her away (don’t know why). She (Nylah) is truly sweet (so is my friend but that’s not who I’m referring to). I shan’t forget to mention that she has fleas. Its maddening. I already ordered Frontline Plus which I will use on both cats since Mitch most likely contracted fleas. 

——

I’m going to New York next week, on the 20th to be exact, for spring break. Unfortunately I’ll be staying with my dad most of the time and ill have limited freedom (as always when with him).

I have yet to tell him about moving back their. What’s my deal?

 

I tried formulating a poem that reflects me. Please critique honestly, I need to submit it to a literary fair and I don’t want to embarrass myself.

I don’t have a title for it yet.

I haven’t given it my best,

And its given me much unrest.

I’ve been trying to be unorthodox

And live to my own expectations,

But instead will end up like a fox

Marauding for sacred temptations.

I am not as incorrigible as i think,

I’m amenable to change for my own contentment,

And I’ve discovered my own enchantment.

You see, I have a yen for detail that may seem apparent through my reticence,

and they don’t know it yet, but I observe their petulance.

I try to take wily notes so I can expatiate

how I see the world and use words to illustrate.

I don’t walk around listlessly,

I walk around aimlessly.

I formulate words so people can appreciate

what they don’t often notice

and it makes it easier for me to consociate.

My Thoughts Right Before Phosphorescent’s Performance

12/18/13

Wut wut wuuuuuuuut
I’m sitting by myself on a black leather couch with a couple that are pecking at each others lips every other minute. As I look at the bar area– exactly at a 1 o’clock angle, I feel relief as another lone human, a man with elbow patches and who seems to be a foreigner, sits also trying to look busy by fidgeting with his phone. It’s 8:35, the concert starts at 9. I’m in the basement which is the bar area, I suppose we get sent up at around 9. I have terrible upper back pain. I need to get it checked out. I’m wasting battery as I write this and I should really save it cos i don’t know if I’m going straight home after the show and my sisters ipod also has low battery. My shoes look very big on me, I think I want to buy a new pair. I’ve actually spotted another lone human, a blond woman also fidgeting with her phone, sitting to the right of loner number 1.

Very attractive men here.

What the fig?!
8:51

Whoa. I just awkwardly make eye contact with a man (10 o’clock) that looks like the lead singer from Local Natives. May or may not be him. Not sure. I don’t want to look again cos he caught me looking at him for those two and only instances. He’s talking to a girl so I don’t want him to think I’m into him (I am).

Why can’t I be more social?! I guess I’m not approachable either. If someone were to approach me now I’d my thought would freak out, I would act calm and casual though. If it were a boy. No, actually of it were a girl too– not as freaked out though.

Wtf?! People keep looking at me when they walk by.

The show is about start. Peace. I think it started. She’s singing. Where is she?!??

RIP Tarzan

Last week I found out Tarzan died– he was either struck by a car or caught an ear infection (I’ve heard different stories). He was such a great dog, stubborn, but still great. There have only been two dogs that have left a lasting impression in my life: Tarzan and Jonas. Jonas was a miniature Schnauzer I used to own when I lived in Colombia for a year. He was the only reason I stayed ´cos his mom,Tita who was partially mine, was pregnant and my sister and I were really anxious about keeping a puppy. My dads girlfriend told us we had to stay with her in order for us to keep one, so we did. After the year was over we were ready to return to the U.S. with Jonas but my dads girlfriend didn’t allow us. She wanted him. Anyway, about two or three years ago she gave him away and he now lives in a village that’s too far away, so I’ve been told. I want to try and get him back. I sort of have a way of finding out where he is ´cos I know a relative of Jonas’ new family but there is some tension between us due to an incident that happened between her mom and my dads girlfriend.

I miss those dogs.

Another tragedy happened this month– my half-brother passed away a few days ago, he was in his early 30s. I haven´t seen him since I was a toddler so I don’t remember anything about him. I really regret not going to Ecuador to visit him. He was sick, not sure what sickness he had but I know it was hell. He couldn’t move, speak, eat (he was tube fed), and his mind was blank.

I still need to call my grandma.

—-

I went to see Kurt Vile w/ Beach Fossils and two other cool bands last week. They were all amazing.

The youngest of my three older brothers unexpectedly moved back to New York on Thursday. I’m so unbelievably jealous.

Small Things to Come

Its been a while since I last made an update on my life. I’ve been busy doing the perpetual nothing. Well, mostly nothing. 

Tomorrow I’m going to Miami to meet up with three cousins that are vacationing here. I haven’t seen them since I was maybe 2 or 3, so it’ll be a bit awkward. 

Last week I went to see Frightened Rabbit and this small venue in Ft. Lauderdale. I had a good time, albeit I was a bit anxious for it to end for some reason. I can´t explain myself why. Anyway, for Halloween I’m going to Miami again, Ill be staying their through Sunday cos´ on November first I’m going to see Kurt Vile and Beach Fossils their. I know it’ll be amazing, cos´ they’re amazing. 

Another thing I’m excited about is NY, I’m going in December. Only thing that has be a bit wary is the fact that my dad will most likely be their too. I’m not looking forward to staying with him in our tiny studio all winter. Its difficult to go out and have fun with him since he´s so controlling and paranoid. He´s currently in NY and later this month he´ll be in Colombia and eventually return back to NY. He plans on flying back to Florida with my sister and I on January 7 but ill try to convince him to leave NY before we arrive. 

I have yet to inform him that I plan on moving out in June. Ill probably have to tell him in January. 

I need to be critiqued

I’m writing an opinion piece for my school newspaper about my thoughts on banning “offensive” forms of expression: words, clothing etc…

I’m not quite finished with it yet, I still need to finish my concluding paragraph but I wanted to be critiqued by this cool online community first. Please let me know what you dislike/like and what you suggest I should change. Thanks!

Here it is:

What is considered derogatory language is controversial and differs from person to person depending on one’s culture.

The NYC Department of Education has made a proposal to ban words like Dinosaur, Halloween, and even Christmas from being spoken on school grounds and even from being on school exams. A group dedicated to people with developmental disabilities in Florida, The Art of Florida, is urging the ban of the word “retard.” Also, in Connecticut, Tyrrell Middle School, banned students from wearing OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All) band apparel.

These are but few examples of student’s freedom of expression being aspersed.

As stated in the Bill of Rights, which utterly includes even vagrants, there should be “…no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech,” which is exactly what students across the nation are being deprived from.

Instead of depriving students, a more suitable resolution would be to educate them in order to preempt any more vexation than there already is. Students should understand morals, theirs and those of others. Both perspectives of the issue should be extrapolated in order for students to come to an understanding as to why some words, images or phrases evoke certain negativity.

There are several words in the English language that have become sullied due to equivocal meanings such as “retard”. These words can be one of several topics of discussion and students can take into account their opposing views and it would then become a matter of morals and self-control.

As for offending religion, schools, just as the U.S., are bio-diverse. Cultural conflicts are perpetual, albeit that shouldn’t excuse any denial of freedom. As mentioned above, NYC proposed to ban the word Dinosaur due to its suggestion on evolution which contradicts creationists’, though this also leads to traditional (and even current) conflicting views on homosexuality. It then becomes an issue of discrimination.

Just as the word “Government” may offend anarchists, the word “Black” may offend African Americans, and even my opinion can offend a large group of people…